becoming

 

INT. PROPANE LIGHT

DIRECTOR
You ready to go over the script?

ACTRESS
Okay.

DIRECTOR
Here.

ACTRESS
So…. From the beginning?

DIRECTOR
Sure. “The Goddess and The
Genius”.

ACTRESS
I read the goddess part?

DIRECTOR
Do I look like a suitable goddess?

ACTRESS
Well….. That robe is festive.
You could be a kind of goddess…
And I could be “GENIUS”, couldn’t
I?

DIRECTOR
Of course, “I am she”
(swishy)
And I could be, you’re right, but
I’m thinking of you for the Goddess
part. That’s why I flew you all
the way up here.

ACTRESS
Do I look like a suitable goddess?

DIRECTOR
Not yet.

ACTRESS
Not yet?

DIRECTOR
No. Not yet.

ACTRESS
So… I look like…. what?

DIRECTOR
You will. Come on, read the
Goddess part.

ACTRESS
But, I don’t look like a goddess…
yet?

DIRECTOR
You’re still becoming.

ACTRESS
What?

DIRECTOR
What?

ACTRESS
Becoming what?

DIRECTOR
Becoming… you’re in transition.
You’re in crisis. You’re becoming.

ACTRESS
The character…. right?

DIRECTOR
Not just that…. When you’re done
becoming, you’ll be believable as a
goddess. Becoming makes you fully,
uh, full.

ACTRESS
Okay………. Do you think I look
like a genius more than you look
like a genius? I do.

DIRECTOR
Little jab there? I’m… becoming.
Let’s read through this thing.
(they sit for cold reading
with scripts)
Ready?

ACTRESS
I’m…. becoming ready.

DIRECTOR
How wonderful!

GODDESS
You think–

DIRECTOR
What!! Where did you–
— You think you’re so smart. They
keep telling you that you’re
special and you’re stupid enough to
believe them? Now, that doesn’t
make you look smart to me.

GENIUS
(jumping)
How did you get in here? Where did
you come from?

GODDESS
Where do you think I came from?

GENIUS
What?

GODDESS
Think!

GENIUS
I don’t want to think — please,
don’t hurt me, okay?

GODDESS
Why would I hurt you? You’re the
reason I’m here. And I’m certainly
not happy that you don’t want to
think.

GENIUS
I CAN’T think anymore. That’s all
I do… I can’t figure it out. I
used to be a…. bona fide genius.
I rode my bicycle to teach. I hid
myself in the crowd, happy to be
unknown, but then I did a
summersault flip on the bicycle,
oops, boom! — planted my face into
the pavement and I haven’t been the
same ever since. I can feel myself
struggling to understand. I don’t
understand how you got here. I’ve
wanted you here. I wished you
here.
I’ve dreamed that a woman would
come through that door, in the dark
of night, somehow, here, on this
island, out of nowhere, in the
middle of nowhere — would come to
save me, come to rescue me, come to
make me whole again. Is it you? Did
you come to save me?

GODDESS
Of course, my dear. I’ve been so
worried about you.

GENIUS
You know of me?

GODDESS
Of course, Of course, they won’t
admit it, wouldn’t admit it, but
EVERYONE knows about you… They
whisper in awe and jealousy about
how strange you are and how lonely
it must be to be such a great
thinker, such a genius. They walk
by your windows, hear your cries
and your anguish soothes them.
“Maybe insight is torture” they
think to themselves. Maybe it’s
better to be ignorant. They hurry
home to a warm hearth and warm
heart.

GENIUS
Really?

GODDESS
I’ve watched you from afar.
Watched you create universe upon
universe of love and understanding.
Galaxies spin because your mind
wills them to and you…. you hide
out here with no one to love you,
letting the breeze heal you,
talking to the trees and earth,
letting loneliness caress and sooth
you.

GENIUS
How DID you get here?

GODDESS
I’ve been wanting to see you.

GENIUS
We’re on an ISLAND. How did you
get here? Are you visiting one of
the other camps?

GODDESS
You’d like that, wouldn’t you.
You’ve spent your whole life
fantasizing about a beautiful woman
who steals in here at night and
WANTS you. I know…. I know.

GENIUS
I never told anyone about that–

GODDESS
It’s obvious.

ACTRESS
So, when we do this. I’m going to
have to act sexy or floatey or
sleazy or what? I’m a little
confused. Am I actually a goddess?

DIRECTOR
Not yet. You’re the sexy woman who
has come to fulfill his fantasy —

ACTRESS
Uhhhh. That’s what folks SAID you’d
be wanting when I told them I was
coming here to be with you. They
all say, it’s about the casting
couch, not who you know but who you
— you know. That isn’t what we’re
doing here is it?

DIRECTOR
My lady was worried too. I
promised her there would be no sex
between us, that we are just
working the script.

ACTRESS
Is that how it usually works,
though? Director and Goddess —

DIRECTOR
— There is a tradition of
directors and their lead actors or
actresses having sex. A long
tradition….

ACTRESS
So, you’re a liar to your lady and
that’s what you really want from
me?

DIRECTOR
I want you to become a goddess who
loves me. That’s all.

ACTRESS
You know I’m not interested in
that. I told you I wasn’t
interested in anything like that.

DIRECTOR
Like what?

ACTRESS
I will not have sex with you, okay?

DIRECTOR
I don’t want you to. I want you to
become a goddess and love me in the
movie. I want to heat up the
screen. I want to become a genius
for you, a mind you can love not a
body to play with. I can have sex,
whenever I want to. You’re too
special to spoil with sex, don’t
you see?

ACTRESS
That sounds like bull shit. You’re
so special. I’m special. We’re
special. I call bull shit.

DIRECTOR
Really?

ACTRESS
A little bit. Bull fart, at least.

DIRECTOR
No. I really made a promise and I
like to keep my word. You couldn’t
get me to have sex with you if you
begged me. You couldn’t get me to
give you THAT if you did the dance
of the seven veils. You couldn’t
ACT enough like you want sex with
me to make me even CONSIDER it. I
promised not to do it and you can’t
make me. Okay?

ACTRESS
Okay……………….. You’re
wrong, by the way.

DIRECTOR
What?

ACTRESS
I could.

DIRECTOR
No. You couldn’t.

ACTRESS
Bet you the role I’m reading for
that by the end of the evening I’ll
have you begging to be with me.

DIRECTOR
You’d lose.

ACTRESS
Bet. I want to be a goddess. I
want to be YOUR goddess. I want to
be the goddess to your genius. You
wrote the part of genius for you to
play and direct?

DIRECTOR
You’ve got some becoming to do,
before you can be a goddess.

ACTRESS
You’ve got a lot of becoming to do
to be genius, visionary and
director, too. Why don’t you just
stick to what you’re–

DIRECTOR
–It’s my show.

ACTRESS
Bet me. I won’t let you have sex
with me. I just want us to bet
that I can make you want it, beg
for it even.

DIRECTOR
You’re going to act out the casting
couch scene to convince me you’re
suitable for the part? Isn’t that
the scam I’M supposed to be trying
to pull?

ACTRESS
Bet me.

DIRECTOR
No.

ACTRESS
(sulking and miffed)
You’re no fun. I could really
prove something to you if you make
the bet. Just give me permission,
okay? Set me loose. Let me be free
to be.

DIRECTOR
You can do whatever you want. I
just know you’ll lose the bet so I
don’t want you to waste your
efforts. I don’t want to bet.

ACTRESS
You’re not gay are you?

DIRECTOR
No….

ACTRESS
So…..

DIRECTOR
I don’t want to bet. I don’t have
anything I want from you ………
but …… I do want to know why.

ACTRESS
Why what?

DIRECTOR
Why you wouldn’t have sex with me
if that was what this weekend was
about. Why?

ACTRESS
….. Why? Why would I? Why would
I ever? Why don’t I want to have
sex with you?

DIRECTOR
Yes.

ACTRESS
Uh…..

DIRECTOR
Honestly. No bull shit. Really,
….. why?

ACTRESS
Really? …….

DIRECTOR
Really.

ACTRESS
I caaaaan’t. I–

DIRECTOR
You won’t get the part if I don’t
believe you’re answering honestly.

ACTRESS
Don’t make me do this, okay?

DIRECTOR
Now, I really, REALLY want to hear
why.

ACTRESS
Okay…..

DIRECTOR
Well?

ACTRESS
When I was five years old I was a
part of a group of disadvantaged
kids who had the opportunity to do
a play at Rice University. My
father had just died. My
grandmother was raising me. Our
toilet didn’t work. We had no hot
water for years. The gas stove had
no gas because the gas line was
broken. We cooked on a hot plate.
We flushed the toilet with water
that came from a hose that was run
through a crack in the window.
Nothing was getting fixed. Nothing
was fixable. Grandma and I lived
in the one room in the house that
we could keep cool or warm. There
was a theater program with The
People’s Workshop that grandma got
me into that Summer, so she could
have a break from taking care of
me.
Oh my oh my, even the rehearsal
studio was air conditioned. The
building was all fixed up and, when
the lights came on and walls
started to glow, it became a
magical land of breath-taking
beauty. There, in charge of
everyone and everything — there,
creating art from the movements and
sounds and emotions we made up just
to impress him was, well, you know
who — there was you. I’m an
actress because of that Summer.
I’m a great actress because, even
at five years old, I understood
what you were doing, making
beautiful life out of horrific
mess, making me dream of a world
that could be beautiful, giving me
hope that I could know a life with
flush toilets and gas stoves and a
daddy who cares what happens to me.
So, I’d do anything for you. What a
waste it would be if I didn’t
change your life, if I didn’t make
you an Oscar winner, if I didn’t
change EVERYTHING for you: What a
waste if I just opened up my legs:
What a waste if you never could
understand the depth of my love for
you, how grateful I am, What a
colossal waste just because all you
could touch was my skin, all you
could see was my face, all you
could know was my flesh.

DIRECTOR
Is that your audition monologue?
You do a contrasting character two
minutes later?

ACTRESS
You did that show at Rice. I know
you remember it. I was hoping
you’d remember me.

DIRECTOR
So?

ACTRESS
So, you think I’d come visit you on
an island in the middle of miles of
water, knowing we’d be alone,
ignoring the warnings of my
friends, colleagues, and advisors
if I didn’t know, at your core, who
you are?

DIRECTOR
Frankly, my doe, I need you to KNOW
you can trust me. For us to do this
movie together, for you to be open
and intimate with the camera, you
have to know you can trust me
completely. If any actress that I
trust with my reputation wants to
impress me, she MUST come to
seclusion with me, she MUST open up
to me, she MUST make me….. trust
her … too.